Love you Right
by msrachelb
Summary: They both knew that they had to save themselves for once, but even with so much water under the bridge they knew that there was no fighting chance of surviving without each other. No matter how hard they tried.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Deacon Claybourne sat in the passenger seat of his nieces car looking glumly out the window as she chattered on and on about everything he didn't care about. He had stepped out of jail no more than twenty minutes ago and all he wanted to do was take a shower and sleep in his own bed. Instead he was being greeted home by an over enthusiastic Scarlett who would not shut up about how glad she was that he was finally coming home. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to be out, it was just that he had no idea what he was walking out of the jail to.

He had spent the last couple weeks staring at the ceiling in his cell trapped in his thoughts and sorrows, wishing more than once that his punishment would be worse than stale food, and a daily visit from Scarlett swearing she was going to get him out no matter how many times he said for her to leave him alone. 'A need for punishment.' That phrase had been thrown around a time or two by his forced upon lawyer who swore up and down she could prove he was innocent no matter how many times he said he wasn't. She had thrown out medical terminology and proof of Rayna's injuries that he hadn't been driving drunk, that he hadn't been what caused the accident but he had refused to acknowledge it.

Truth was - he wasn't driving, but if he hadn't been drinking she wouldn't have been driving either, but if she hadn't lied to him neither of them would be in the situation they were in. It was a constant losing circle that he refused to let cycle out no matter how hard people pushed him to talk about it. Talking about it wasn't going to change anything and it sure as hell wasn't going to fix the last thirteen years so he didn't see the point of bothering.

"…and you have an appointment tomorrow for your hand." He had tuned in to Scarlett right as the last words of her sentence had flown out of her mouth causing him to jerk his head to look at her for the first time since he met her outside the jail.

"I ain't going to a doctor, Scarlett. My hand is fine." Deacon scowled done tired of her meddling no matter how much deep down he was grateful for it. She glared at him looking at his useless hand wordlessly as it lay in his lap as if she was trying to prove a point.

"You can't move it, Deacon. It's not fine and you're going, I don't care if I have to drag you kicking and screaming, you're going to get it checked out. End of story." She stated firmly and he rolled his eyes and sighed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. It had been handed to him by her as well as his satchel and a few other belongings she figured he needed right away. He hadn't even bothered turning it on, not wanting to see the texts messages come through of good wishes and prayers. He didn't want them nor did he deserve them, but he looked anyways before giving up half way through and just looking back out the window.

The sudden vibration in his hand startled him as he looked down at an incoming call, his heart stopping as her name flashed on the screen. Rayna. Her name was both a blessing and a curse that sent a million emotions through him as she read it over carefully frozen as to what to do. Before he could make a decision on whether to answer it or not her name was gone and he felt a sigh of relief wash over him. She was alive but the torture of what she did kept bubbling up and he couldn't get rid of the taste of fury that came with every thought of her.

He had spent every second of his time in jail thinking of her and the situation she had put them in. He had continuously when through the motions of being terrified and pissed at her, scared to death that she wasn't going to make it and infuriated that he had let himself love her despite what she had done. No matter how many days and hours he sat in deep thought over the situation he still wasn't over it, he wasn't sure he ever would be.

Yet her name still flashed on his phone sending a chill down his spine that he hated it and he huffed as his voicemail notification came up, before shoving the damn phone down in his satchel refusing to deal with it.

"Thanks." He murmured sometime later as they pulled in front of his house. He knew she was living there again but all he wanted was from time alone. "You mind if you give me a bit… readjust or somethin'?" Deacon asked though he was bracing himself for her lecture on him being alone right now, but was pleasantly surprised when she only nodded and leaned over to kiss his scruffy cheek.

"Can't wait to see you clean shaven." Scarlett murmured with the same warm smile on her face that always made him feel better even when he didn't want to. Giving her a half assed smile back he nodded to her before sighing as he made his way out of the car and into his home. The last time he was in it he was destroying it, but he wasn't surprised to find that Scarlett had put it back together. Putting his bag on the counter he rubbed his face with his good hand almost nervous to be home alone. The urge to drink had disappeared the second he woke up in the jail ward and learned of Rayna's injuries, yet the cold memories still crept back to him as he walk around almost like he had forgotten what his home looked like.

They had spent weeks sneaking around with each other, falling into each other's arms every chance they had getting reacquainted to one another and loving every second of it. Time and time again he had woken up with her snuggled into his chest and he had thought he was dreaming. He couldn't imagine life getting better than it was with her finally back in his life and the two of them getting to love each other just as they always should have. They had made love one very inch of his house like they had never made love before and that was all he saw as he looked around. All he saw was the two of them together, her sweet laughter, and the promise to love each other right this time. Every memory came crashing down as he looked at his front door and saw Maddie standing there in tears proclaiming that she thought he was her father. His stomach sank as the memory flooded his senses and he once again thought he was going to puke. The lies, the heartbreak, the booze, it all became real once again and for a second Deacon wished he was back in a jail cell ignoring the pain.

He slid down the wall his face in his hands as he breathed in slowly, his eyes wet and his heart racing wishing it for it all go away. Needing for it to all go away. All he wanted was a drink, all he wanted was to disappear and never come out again. Yet he was plagued with the accident, plagued with the thoughts of having a daughter who might need him. Or did she want nothing to do with him? He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but all he knew was the hell he was in felt like it was just beginning.

The pain he was in worsened as he forced himself off the floor and into the shower, his emotional turmoil turning into physical agony as he tried to maneuver with no function in his left hand. The pain was unbearable as he tried to rehab it himself just by moving his fingers ever so slightly, but nothing seemed to help. He had refused to take anything for the pain and stuck with just dealing with it. If anything the pain reminded him of what he done and what he had to deal with.

A need for punishment was beginning to sound more and more like the truth.

Clean and shaven, Deacon sat on his bed after almost a hour of struggling with the basic tasks of grooming himself just staring at his phone again. The voicemail stared violently at him almost taunting him as he finally hit play and shakily held the phone to his ear.

"Hey." Her voice was broken, barely audible, likely from the breathing tube that had been put in place. "It's me." He listened his stomach in knot as he tried to determine if he could handle listening to it or not. "I, er, I wanted to talk to you – see you maybe. I don't know. I just… can you call me? Let me know you're doing okay? Thanks… bye." Throwing his phone down he cursed as he lay down on the bed conflicted and exhausted.

Hearing her voice had thrown a wrench in his plans to ignore her for the rest of his life. In fact, hearing her voice had only made things ten times worse. It brought to late that despite spending the last couple weeks hating her, he still loved her just the same.

* * *

 **So recently I started (another) Nashville rewatch and on came the flood of head canons which brings you this feeler chapter to a complete and probably insane redo of s2-whenever I stop. Let me know what you think and enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The harsh bright lights of the cold hospital room were the devil to get used to. An hour of doctors, nurses, her family, all gathering around her to make sure she was doing okay and Rayna already felt she was going crazy. They had carefully explained to her the accident and the injuries refusing to go into the grave details, and most definitely not bringing up Deacon's name as they carried on about how grateful they were to see her awake. The girls hadn't stopped crying as they held her hands and she did her best to promise she was okay.

Truth was she felt numb as the reality started to come back to her, the dark memories of Deacon confronting her about Maddie's paternity and the way he looked at her as they drove from the Bluebird that night. She remembered it all; she wasn't sure how they thought she could actually forget even with a brain injury. It was a nightmare and she hated that she hadn't woke up from it.

"Deacon." She whispered her throat so sore that she could barely speak that the word came out more like a squeak than sounds as she looked at her sister. She had mentioned him the second she had woken up but it had been brushed away in the excitement of her injuries not being as severe as they thought they'd be upon coming out of the medical induced coma. "Deacon." Rayna tried again her voice clearer as Tandy looked at her with concern and fear. "How's... Deacon?" She asked.

"He's where he should be." Was all the red haired woman said which instant infuriated her younger sister. Teddy had taken the reluctant girls for some food leaving just the two of them in the room. Rayna glared at her needing more information. "You don't need to worry about him anymore, babe. He's not going to be around anymore."

The sentence sent Rayna straight to the wrong place and tears sprung to her eyes, the thought of him being dead being ever so present in her sisters wording. "What?" She whispered. "He's…" Unable to finish her sentence she looked away from Tandy trying not to break down.

"What? No." Tandy said as she took her hand. "He's fine. He's in jail… As he should be." She said and that sent another shock through Rayna's system.

"Why in the world is he in jail?!" She asked as she moved to sit up but was quickly pushed back by her sister. This wasn't good, he wasn't sure what she was expecting when she asked the question but she sure as hell didn't expect him to be in jail.

It was then that Tandy began to truly explain the accident and how someone drove onto the scene seeing Deacon and Rayna laying on the ground, Deacon clinging to her lifeless body pleasing for her to wake up and that he was sorry. From there they had been taken to the hospital and Deacon had admitted he was driving. The entire time Tandy Rayna shook her head unable to put to words what she was screaming in her mind.

"Tandy, no." She finally verbalized as she covered her face with her hands. "I was driving." She whispered wanting to ask why Deacon would admit to such a thing but she already knew the answer. Truth was she didn't expect anything less of him and she wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"Call the police." Rayna sternly told her sister all but grabbing the older woman's phone from her hand to dial herself when she hesitated. "Like hell am I going to let him sit in there one second more."

The police appeared within ten minutes and Rayna carefully told them what happened with confirmation from the doctor that the bruising on her body was proof that she was indeed driving. She hated that Deacon had spent a second in jail, no matter how furious she was that he had turned to drinking when things got rough nothing changed the fact that she still loved him. That was still true.

The problem was, she didn't know what that meant anymore. The way he looked at her when she confirmed Maddie was his daughter was forever burned into her brain, the disappointment and the hatred that poured from him was still so vivid it made her heart hurt. She knew she had hurt him, she knew that she had betrayed his trust, and more than anything she knew that they wouldn't be able to go back to the way things were before.

For those short weeks they were together everything was perfect. They were so in love and happy that it felt like she was sixteen again and falling in love for the first time. They had always had a connection with each other, a passion was that burnt within them always trying to bubble to the surface whenever they touched. It was one of the reasons she avoided really touching him for thirteen years, terrified that the right moment with him would cause everything to come tumbling down around them.

Boy was she right about that.

It was hours before she was truly alone and could battle her urge to reach out to him in private. Teddy had taken the girls home and she had forced Tandy and daddy to leave and get some rest so that she could do so herself. All she wanted was some peace and quiet and to talk to Deacon. She hated how much she needed to talk to him, to see him and touch him and know that he was okay. She hated that she knew he wouldn't do either of those things, but she tried anyways.

She left a quick message, her voice tired and restless as her body fought the exhaustion from the tiring day. Rayna quickly fell asleep the second she hung up the phone, clinging to it in hopes of him calling back.

She was still asleep when he snuck into her room early the next morning, a light kiss on her forehead just barely waking her from her slumber as he left as quickly as he had arrived.

* * *

Here is chapter two! I'll have chapter three much quicker than chapter two! I want to thank every single one of you for the reviews on my first chapter, it meant so much.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

It had been two weeks of ignored voicemails and texts when Deacon came home to Rayna sitting on his porch. He hadn't seen her since that morning he mistakenly went to the hospital to see her and he hadn't made any efforts to be in contact with her either. The pain and sorrow that came from seeing her broken in that hospital bed had been enough for him to force himself to stay away for good. He had no business trying to see her and he wasn't sure he could handle himself well enough if he did.

The last two weeks had been complete hell. Scarlett was hovering and getting on his nerves, refusing to leave him alone about his hand and then yelling at him for being in a mood because of it. He refused to believe that anything was going to make it better and he sure as hell couldn't stand the pain much longer. So he opted for the cast that was likely a mistake on his part, but he knew if he popped one pain pill the rest would be gone before sunrise the next morning.

 _"Rayna didn't want to tell me because I was a drunk. She was right. I didn't deserve to be a father so I wasn't. I don't have Rayna. I don't have my music. I got nothing. I am nothing. So you need to let me be."_ His words to his niece still resonated in him as the anger and hurt rushed through his blood like a fire. She was right he was an angry bitter old drunk, and now he felt useless and miserable as ever.

Seeing Rayna on his front porch a month after almost killing her? A month after she almost killed him? He could have fell over dead right there.

"Hey." He said simply as he slowly walked over to her unsure of how close he wanted to get. She looked good for having just got out of the hospital, but then again he wasn't sure she was capable of not looking gorgeous as always.

"Hey." Her words were soft as she shifted her gaze from the grass to him and then back to the ground as he finally sat a comfortable distance beside her.

"What are you doing here?" Deacon asked breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over them.

And that was certainly the question of the hour.

RRR

It had been an ongoing battle over the last couple of weeks of laying in a hospital bed with nothing to do but get lost in her thoughts. Rayna had thought through everything time and time again. Deacon, Maddie, her career, her relationship, Daphne, Deacon, Maddie, Deacon, on and on again her mind raced always falling back on her eldest daughter and the man who helped create her. She had been so guilty over the years that he didn't know. That he was always in her life but never in it as he should be, when they reunited she knew she had to tell him but per usual her plans didn't quite go over the way they should have.

"You haven't answered any of my messages." She said evenly as she watched as a couple cars drove down the road. It had drove her crazy how he had ignored every single act of communication she had tried, at first she didn't blame him and really a part of her didn't want to talk to him either, but she was persistent and knew they needed to have a conversation sooner rather than later. "Maddie.."

"Don't want to talk about that yet." He interrupted and she nodded as she pierced her lips trying to route the conversation in her favor anyways. Clearing her throat. "You could have called me back, let me know you were okay."

The stubborn silence beside her was almost infuriating enough for her to get up and leave, but before she could move he sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"Wasn't sure what you wanted me to say." His voice was soft and quiet, so broken and scared that tears welled in her eyes. "I couldn't call. I didn't want to bring you into my business. Not anymore, not after everything. I wanted to, wanted to talk about my hand and…." He paused. _"I didn't want you to be the one, but you always have been."_ He murmured. "But I couldn't call. I wasn't ready. Still ain't I don't think."

His words stung but Rayna still nodded but still couldn't move from her spot, too many questions hanging in the balance that she needed answers to. Questions that they both needed answers to.

"Daphne was eating breakfast this morning when she looked over to me and asked how you were. I told her I didn't know and she says, 'isn't he your boyfriend? Shouldn't you know?' and I didn't know what to say. Honestly I still don't know what the say, because I don't know what's between us anymore. I don't know if we still have a chance in hell to be anything and I'm not sure if I even what there to be." Looking over at him his face was stone cold as he just watched the road and she sighed.

"Because I love you. That still hasn't changed. I might be mad as hell right now and disappointed and a million other emotions but I still love you. I don't think that'll ever change and well… I guess that's why I'm here, to tell you and I did so I guess I'll leave now."

DDD

He watched from the corner of his eye as she slowly stood up and internally groaned as he held out his arm to stop her. Deacon didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to look at her let alone tell her how he felt. It was all too much and all he wanted to do was have a drink and drown his sorrows. He couldn't do that anymore, in fact he refused to go down that road again. It destroyed him and everything he ever cared about, he wasn't about to do that again no matter how strong the urge was.

She was just so damn breath taking and infuriating at the same time. "Don't go." He whispered as he stood up to help her stand. "Let's go inside and we can talk a bit." Truth was neither of them had really ever been good at talking. They usually ended up screaming or fucking and he knew that neither of those options was useful right now. They were both too tired for either and frankly Deacon was just too numb to fight with her anymore.

They entered his house and he sat on the couch next to her twiddling his thumbs trying to find the right words to say but nothing came. Before he could make something up she broke their silence.

"She needs you." Rayna said softly as she looked over at him. "I know you're not ready to deal with this Deacon, I know that you want to run and hide until you've processed but she needs you. She has so many questions that I don't have answers too. She's acting out and she's confused and I just think that if you two could just talk, maybe it'd help."

"What do you want me to do, Rayna?" He asked knowing Maddie was confused because he was too. "Do you want me to scoop her up in my arms and telling I'm her? That I'm her daddy now? I can't do that. Not when I have as many questions as she does, not when I'm struggling here too. _I don't know if I'm going to be able to play anymore, don't know if the program is going to work_ and I certainly don't know how to be her father after thirteen years of being her Uncle Deacon. I may have been in her life, Ray, but I wasn't, not the way I should've. And I'm just not ready to deal with that yet."

And then there was the big question hidden in the void between them. Us. Them. "I love you." He murmured to her. "That ain't changed in twenty some years and it's not gonna. Don't know what that means anymore though. Not after everything." There had been a million fights between them throughout the years, his drinking, diva dips, you name it and they probably fought about it a trillion times over but never in his life did he think he'd look at Rayna James and not know if he trusted her. He'd love her till the day he died but knowing that she had lied to him for thirteen years? Of all the times she had given up on him, for the first time he felt like he was in her shoes just with a situation that felt so much worse than he could imagine.

It took all his strength to reach over and touch her, to take her hand and squeeze it gently with his right. "Guess we don't have to figure it out now, right? Isn't that the part of surviving? New chances and good intentions, all that bologna they preach about in my meetings. Maybe just a step at a time or somethin."

For the first time in a month he saw a smile come on her face and he hadn't realized just how much he had missed it. "Yeah, I'd like that." Rayna said and he nodded before pulling her into a hug, her face in his neck as he wrapped his arms around her slender body.

He sure as hell didn't know what their next step was going to be but he knew that he wasn't about to let her go. No matter how much it hurt to be with her he knew being apart would be ten times worse.

* * *

Hello! So this ended up being a bit of a heavy chapter that I'm not quite done with and decided to break into two parts with chapter three and four, hopefully four will be up sooner but I said that last time and look how long this much of it took. HA! My plan with this story is too loosely follow each season with my obvious au take on things. I'll be keeping a lot of canon events and quotes but moving them around to happen at different parts of the storyline instead of strictly in time with the series. Thank you again to all the lovely reviews and until next time enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The last thing Scarlett thought she would see when she came home was her uncle and Rayna asleep on his couch. The man stretched out against the back with his bad arm hanging across the edge with Rayna curled up next to him her head on his bicep. In fact she wasn't sure what to think of it at all. After everything that had happened over the past month and knowing the state Deacon was in, witnessing it first hand when he fell off the wagon, seeing him clinging to the woman who continued to tear him apart was not something she wanted to see. She'd have to make sure she didn't hurt him again, that was for sure.

Carefully grabbing her things she needed, she snuck back out of the house just in time for Rayna to open her eyes.

RRR

It was disorienting to wake up in Deacon's arms again on the couch that they had shared much more than just a nap or two on. After the emotional day they had and all the talking they'd endured she wasn't sure when they had actually fallen asleep.

They had avoided the big stuff; the deeper whys and whens going back to when she found out she was pregnant with Maddie and his drinking. The fact that she knew he didn't trust her anymore and that things weren't ever going to go back to the way they were. Instead they sort of just existed together. Sitting on his couch making small talk and figuring out was what to come next.

If only they had figured out an answer.

"Deacon." She whispered as she moved to sit up but was trapped by his arm pinned around her waist. "Babe, wake up I have to go."

The one thing they had figured out was what she was going to do with Edgehill and Jeff. It was Deacon who had given her his words of wisdom to buy out her contract and get out of dodge while she could and most definitely before it was too late.

When he finally stirred she smiled at his groaning, he never was good about being woken up.

"Five more minutes." He mumbled and she laughed lightly before finally pushing his arm off and crawling off the couch.

"Five more minutes will soon turn to five more hours and I need to go and talk to Bucky. If I'm going to do this I'm going to have to do this now." Her mind was more than made up about more than just Edgehill but right now that was all she had to push towards. There were too many questions when it came to him.

He was still grumbling as he sat up and rubbed at his face and she giggled as she gathered her belongings curious as to what was next but refusing to push things, she knew she had done a little more than her fair share of pushing today.

"I'll talk to you?" She asked open-endedly as she shifted from one foot to another as he stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets with a nod.

DDD

"Yeah." He whispered as he took a step towards her still groggy from their sleep and what was possibly the best sleep he had gotten since the last time they shared the same space. It was right before the accident, right before everything got messed up. It brought back good memories that quickly became dark as black clouds loomed over him.

He forced himself to shake the darkness away as he took another step towards her and reached out to take her hands. "I'll call ya." While Deacon had no idea what was to come next he knew that she wasn't going anywhere and no matter how much he wanted her to leave when she was sitting on his porch, he was sort of glad she hadn't now.

"Go, talk to Bucky. Let me know how it goes, go show Edgehill that you don't need 'em. It won't be long until you're the CEO of the best label in Nashville. And I couldn't be more proud already." Leaning in he pressed his lips to her cheek.

"See ya, Ray."

With that she gave him a small smile and he watched her walk out of his house with a lighter step than when she walked in and it made him smile. If they could exist together so soon, maybe they weren't so doomed afterall.

* * *

This is not at all what I wanted it to be, but when I accidentally deleted my file and had to start over this is what you get! It's super short but I had to get it out since it's been SOO long since my last chapter. Here's to chapter 5 'hopefully' being better. Cheers!


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